The story goes that when my dad was an adolescent, he helped out at a neighbor’s farm. His parents, conservative Christians, had instructed him to take no payment. So when the neighbor pulled out some cash, he didn’t know what to do—and bolted. As in, literally ran away. 

I wish I could say I have no idea what that’s like. But though I’m a little (!) better at accepting gifts, when it comes to receiving from others…or even God… I resemble Peter a lot more: “You shall never wash my feet” (John 13:8). 

Maybe this sounds in my head like, I don’t need rest. I’m not stressed. I can give a little more. I’m too self-focused. 

From the time I was small, my parents and other believers emphasized how vital it was as a Christ-follower to be more of a giver than a taker.  

Problem is? I’m excellent at it. 

To the point that when I’m not in a healthy place emotionally, I feel shame when I take anything. Even sometimes when I take up space—in conversation, in someone’s time or attention.  

And my time in Africa seemed to underline this. Needs were everywhere, and far more than I could even mentally or emotionally process. Lack of electricity or internet or power or air conditioning or, you know, cheese or strawberries or Greek yogurt consistently shoved comfort to the sidelines—at times, in very good, purifying ways. Plus, I was there to give, right?

But also cemented in me was the idea my needs really don’t matter—or at least they take a back seat to everyone else’s. And in that context, it was easy to assume that to need or desire was selfish. That what my (God-created) body was telling me was simply an obstacle to following Jesus.  

But looking at today’s verse, I’m reminded God created my need (and my desires!) to tug me toward Him. And author K.J. Ramsey reminds me, “In the presence of Christ, the symptoms and scars of our stress dignify us rather than disqualify us. The only prerequisite to receiving Christ’s presence of love is being a person who needs it.”* 

In the story of the Pharisee and the tax collector, we see the opposite of need is…pride. Even to others, I can’t say, “I don’t need you!” (1 Corinthians 12:21). This includes those I came to serve: Jesus and Paul both allowed themselves to be served.  

As deeply loved children of God, we are defined not by what we bring to God’s team, but by what he generously gives. Getting comfortable with our need, our stress, and all we don’t have to offer is a big part of embracing our identity as “beloved”—and embracing the good news that God’s kindness isn’t dependent to what we have to give.  

*Ramsey, K.J.. The Lord Is My Courage (p. 156). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.