Miscarriage recoveries are painful on many levels. After my first miscarriage in South Asia, I rested often in a lounge chair by our front window. It held a little frame with an ultrasound picture showing the shape of Judah’s head and his little hands waving around. On it I had written, “I miss you.” Infertility had broken my heart for too many years. Losing this child felt too heavy for me to carry, so I had to depend on others until I was back on my feet emotionally and physically. 

I’m a personal trainer. I like to feel strong. I’m a creative, independent introvert. Reliance felt difficult at first, but I quickly began to see how beautiful life can be in a community of loving people. I learned to ask for help. Sometimes people helped without me asking. Women across several languages and cultures stepped up to serve. This time of indescribable hurt was sprinkled with the love of caring, generous people. 

Friends from South Asia visited and brought food. Friends from East Asia, UK, Australia, and USA sat with me, quietly and supportively listening. They offered a comforting presence though conversation, having lunch, or watching movies together. Close friends took care of my toddler when the miscarriage was actually happening. Another friend occasionally babysat to give my husband and me time for conversation and rest. 

The teachings and heart of Jesus came alive through people. 

Galatians 6:2: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” My community demonstrated His command to love others by shouldering this burden with me. Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” The love and help of my friends reminded me God’s favor rests on me—even when I mourn. I felt His tender comfort through them. For those who were with me during this time—you were the hands and feet of Christ to me. You were salt when there was no flavor and light when I sat in darkness. You were goodness in pain. Thank you.  

When you find yourself in a position of reliance, embrace it and know the love of Jesus through His people. Don’t fight it. If you are shouldering a burden with someone, thank you for fulfilling the law of Christ; the law of love.