Have you ever experienced something that left you speechless, but in a bad way? Betrayal in the most intimate ways can do that. I found myself this way one hot day overseas. Shocked, confused, hurt and angry, I tried to make sense of it all and in the midst of it the one thought, “We are one of the statistics” kept reeling in my head. We had become one of the cases that up til that point had just been read and studied about. It felt unforgivable. 

This journey led me through the miry muck of anger and pain with many people – the offender, God, my husband, and myself. How could we have let this happen? Why did it happen? As I kept putting one foot in front of the other physically and emotionally, I learned that God isn’t so concerned about the why or how. He wants to see what you will do with such pain. Do we continue to wallow in the pain or become a tirade of emotions and angry outbursts? A better option, do we stop and breathe, recalibrate, and pray? Can we be brave enough to forgive? 

When we choose to forgive, we are choosing to behave more like God. Colossians 2:13 states that while we were dead in our trespasses and our own transgressions, He made us alive and forgave us. It is difficult, but He can give us the courage and strength to forgive even the worst of betrayals. 

Forgiving did not make the offense right. It did not free the offender from the consequences of his actions. His actions were still wrong but forgiving freed me from holding on to the pain. Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is deciding to free the offender and allowing Jesus to be the judge. In the end, I also free myself from being the judge and carrying the burden of the offense. It’s a twist on the statistics. Instead of focusing on the pain, I can now count myself as one of those that was able to forgive as Jesus did.