The older I get, the more fearful I become. I didn’t even realize it at first. It kind of crept in over time. God, in His mercy, showed me how some of my decisions were being influenced by fear. 

Of all the factors to consider when making a decision, I don’t want fear to have a say in the process. In the past couple of months, I faced a health scare. I also thought I had to give up on a dream that I had had for more than 20 years and I started processing that unwanted ending. As I walked through both of these circumstances, fear was a daily companion. There was so much uncertainty in the “what if’s” and the “could be’s”. 

These thoughts took up more space in my mind than I should have given them room for. But God was gracious to me and helped me turn around and face my fear. He helped me to refocus my thoughts to remember that whatever comes - God would be there with me. Somehow, He would be enough to see me through and I could trust Him for that. He would walk every step with me, holding me in His right hand as imperfect life took me where I didn’t want to go. 

As I waited in the pre-op room for my first surgery, I kept reading Isaiah 41:10. It was a moment-by-moment battle against fear, and His Word won when my mind focused on His truth. I didn’t want to be there and I feared the results that might come from the biopsies, but I wasn’t alone. He went before me and behind me, He hemmed me in. He wasn’t leaving. I could trust His hands to hold me tightly. You can trust Him to hold you tightly too.