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In recent years, around the time when I reached my 40s, a frequent visitor started to come unannounced, crossing the boundaries of my personal space. These visits started to tax on me mentally and emotionally. This unwelcome visitor’s name is fear. An undesirable companion who through paralyzing, unexpected thoughts, prevents you from enjoying the present. Fear of the future, fear of being alone, fear of never having kids, fear of dying alone.
How can it be? You’re a global worker, serving the Lord. How could you have those fears? Yes, I serve the Lord and love the people whom I serve, but I am human and at times some terrifying thoughts cross my mind of what will be of me in 10 years, 20 years. Will I still be in my field of service? Will I still be unmarried? Will I ever have children? Who will bury me when I die? Will my children speak the eulogy?
It sounds macabre but this is not where it all ends. Just as fear does lurk around, without fault, I hear a very soft, quiet voice deep within telling me: “Colette, do not be anxious about anything but by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your request known unto God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your mind in Christ Jesus.”“Colette, do not be conformed to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” “Colette, take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” … etc. It is a gentle voice and yet as it erupts from deep within me, it revives me quite instantly. It is the Holy Spirit of God—at work bringing back to my remembrance the Word of God that had been planted in my heart and mind. The Word I had either heard in a sermon, read or meditated on before. Through the Holy Spirit’s counsel, I am uplifted and the very Word brought back to my remembrance shields me in a way that builds my trust and confidence back to the Lord.
I earnestly encourage us all to be diligent in treasuring our time with God, as we read or listen to His Word, even if it is for 10, 20 or 30 minutes throughout the day. Different small increments throughout the day build up a great fortresses of protection. Every word that is planted in us will be brought to our remembrance by the Holy Spirit in crucial times of need and it will send fear and any unwelcome spirits away through the power of His Word.
What causes you fear and how do you deal with it?
Many of us probably heard it said before that there is healthy fear and unhealthy fear. I personally love Polly Tig’s definition which provides a clear definition of the difference between the two. Here is what she says: “Basically, healthy fear alerts us when something is or may be wrong. An unhealthy fear is a response to an imagined danger that isn't real.”
The fear I usually experience is imagined. I do not mean to do so, but sometimes it happens. My imagination creates scenarios that are real in my mind but not real in reality. My unwholesome thoughts (i.e., imagination) turn into worry, which makes me anxious and paralyses me in fear. If I pay close attention and realize that the thought is going to take me on a path of no return I can stop the thoughts. Usually, however, I find myself in the stage of anxiety or being paralyzed by fear, then I have to pedal back to get to the root of the thought, the lie I am believing which is causing me to experience those unwholesome emotions.
I can’t say it’s easy. It might sound cliche to say the following but I have to actually uproot those lies to replace them with the truth from the Word of God. It is a process in which I have to renew my mind and Romans 12:2 is a great reminder for that: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (NIV) Then and only then can I experience peace of mind.