I could tell something was wrong. Closing the office door behind me so that none of the church members would suddenly burst in, I walked up to my husband and asked him what happened. The next minutes were a blur, and all I remember is holding him as he let the tears flow; tears of pain, frustration, and confusion. He’d been awfully mistreated, and at that moment I knew I would do anything to take his pain away.

Outside the office door, the church group was waiting for their pastor to lead the outreach ministry that was supposed to start in a few minutes. They had no clue that their leader was on the battlefield with the enemy; seemingly powerless and vulnerable and hurt. They probably didn’t even think about the fact that pastors, too, can cry.

I knew there was only one thing to do; and, turning to the One who understood, we opened our hearts and let the words flow. We went to Him with our confusion, pain and heartache. We begged Him to clear the haziness and fill our hearts with peace, and we asked Him for the grace to use us in our weakness. As we held each other tightly, an overwhelming sense of comfort filled our hearts and His Spirit surrounded us with peace. 

Apostle Paul openly shared about his imperfection. The gifted teacher never acted like “he had it all together”. Even when he asked God to spare him his suffering and God didn’t, Paul accepted it as an ongoing test to his humility. The apostle understood that the only power he had initially came from above.

 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

That day was a painful reminder of the fact that, apart from the Spirit of Christ in us, we have no power in ourselves. No matter what title or position we hold, as His children, we are equally dependent on the Lord and His grace alone. And the more often we admit our vulnerability, the more strength we’ll have to walk the road with Christ.

And eventually, church groups waiting outside office doors will be strengthened when they see their leaders walking solely in the power of Christ.