Dipping the chip in the salsa, I popped the chip into my mouth. My friend took a sip of her lemonade and continued telling me about her daughter’s birthday.  

“Is everything ok?” the waiter questioned.

We nodded our heads. My friend stopped her story and stared at me, “Why did you skip church on Sunday?” 

I started to explain that we were visiting another church for my daughter’s friend. But before I could finish, my friend interrupted and criticized. I squirmed as my face turned red and my tummy flipped.  

As I drove home, I realized that I do the same thing with my friends and family. I’m slow to listen, yet I’m quick to interject my opinion or jump to conclusions rather than listen completely.  

How can we be better listeners?

LISTEN COMPLETELY - “The one who gives an answer before he listens - this is foolishness and disgrace for him.” Proverbs 18:13

A good listener allows the speaker to finish his/her thoughts without interrupting. 

This requires patience and focus by looking at the speaker and not being distracted by personal devices or tasks.  

LISTEN CAREFULLY - “A fool does not delight in understanding, but only wants to show off his opinions.” Proverbs 18:2 

A good listener tries to understand by asking clarifying questions and paraphrasing. Sharing your personal opinion isn’t as important as allowing the other person to voice his/hers. It places value on the other person.

LISTEN COMPASSIONATELY - “Whoever conceals an offense promotes love, but whoever gossips about it separates friends.” Proverbs 17:7 

As sensitive information is given, a good listener uses discretion by keeping *confidentiality rather than blabbing to others. If a sin issue needs to be addressed, the listener answers gently with the goal of restoration, realizing that we all struggle with something (Galatians 6:1-2). 

Good listening requires practice. 

My restaurant friend reminded me that I want to be a good listener for others, and I have a long way to go. May we extend grace and encourage each other to listen completely, carefully, and compassionately.  

*Confidentiality is broken in harmful situations to protect the person.