I was upset with my friend’s behavior and got offended, so I withdrew into my shell and sulked for a few days, ruining what should have been a pleasant weekend. While my friend could have acted differently, my reaction was disproportionate to what had transpired. Honestly, I had no justification for the extent of my displeasure. It took me several days to finally repent of my rotten attitude, but not before it caused harm to myself—in wasted days—and to those who had to put up with me.

We live in a world that encourages us to take offense at the slightest hint of an infraction. For instance, people blow up at the cashier for not working fast enough or snub their relatives or co-workers for years because of a perceived misdeed. And let’s not mention what happens on social media!

As Christians, we probably all agree that we shouldn’t behave this way, and yet, we do. How many churches have broken up because of petty offenses? How many global workers have returned home because they couldn’t get along with their team members?

You may think you’re not one of those who get easily offended… and so did I. Unfortunately, as I’ve learned, we all have buttons that will go off when pushed, sending us down the road of indignation, hard feelings, or even rage. Since God has called us to live and work in a community—our family, church, team, workplace, or any other group—we better learn to bring our attitude under control. Otherwise, we’re in for a bumpy ride.

So, how can we have victory? It starts with realizing we are responsible when we get offended, not the other person. Although we may naturally react in a certain emotional way, which we can’t change, we are responsible for what we do next. We control our attitude. God holds us accountable for our response no matter what the other person did.

According to Proverbs 19:11, overlooking an offense is to our glory. And as we live and work in community with others, it’s the only way for harmony to thrive.