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A day of pampering at the spa sounds appealing, doesn’t it? And maybe it’s the first thing that comes to mind when we hear “self-care.” But what if we paid attention and responded to the deeper cry of our soul? What if we invited God to search our hearts, to know us as fully as we can be known, and to guide us on His everlasting path of truth and grace and healing…
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24
To wholeheartedly bring this invitation to God, like David did in his prayer of surrender, means we have to relinquish our self-protective posture of hiding. It requires us to respond to the question our loving Father first posed to Adam and Eve in the garden: “Where are you?”
If you’re like me, you don’t truthfully know all the time WHERE you are. Sometimes I wake up in a fog, staring blankly at the ceiling, unsure of where I am at that moment: which country, which city, which house/apartment/hotel, which season…
And if you’re like me, you don’t always know WHO you are. I need to be continually reminded of my identity and security as His Beloved, because my mind can so easily become clouded with anxiety and doubt and lies about myself and my circumstances: encompassing my past, present, and future.
I know that I don’t willingly step into the spotlight of a full-length mirror because I’m afraid of being completely seen and fully known. I’m guessing you might share my strong preference of not wanting a closer look at blemishes, mistakes, and places that bring feelings of embarrassment and shame.
The shadows of those nearby curtains feel much safer than the brightly lit mirror when, in all honesty, I’d like to hide my ugly side from God and pretend that I can continue living on auto-pilot without serious consequences to my soul. But God doesn’t search our hearts in order to condemn us. He wants us to know and to love ourselves the way that He does.
The truth is that being fully known and fully loved is something auto-pilot living will never be able to give. I can experience a restful day at the spa and still ignore my soul. As Augustine said, “Our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.” Nothing else and no else can satisfy our deepest need.
Will you step into the light of His Love with me so we can surrender our self and soul to His care?
Do you have a song that helps to remind you of who you are in relationship to God?
I first heard “Belovedness” by Sarah Kroger at a soul care retreat and I love the lyrics. “You’ve owned your fear and all your self-loathing. You’ve owned the voices inside of your head. You’ve owned the shame and reproach of your failure. It’s time to own your belovedness.” “You’ve owned the mess you see in the mirror. You've owned the lies that you’re just not enough. You’ve been so blinded by all your comparing. It’s time to own your belovedness.” “You are completely loved and fully known. Beloved, believe He died to make your heart His home.” “He says you’re mine. I smiled when I made you. I find you beautiful in every way. My love for you is fierce and unending. I’ll come to find you whatever it takes. My beloved.”