I knew Nathan was a difficult toddler – constantly in motion, throwing toys, climbing the furniture, breaking whatever wasn’t tied down – but I figured it was just a stage. Then he turned three, and certain developmental milestones were glaringly missing. We started getting different evaluations, and the outlook changed. He wasn’t going to stop these challenging behaviors on his own. I couldn’t just try to survive and wait it out – I needed to get stronger. 

Fortunately, I had started running two months previously. At other times in my life, exercise and sports had been important to me for controlling my weight or achieving competitive goals. Since learning of our son’s diagnosis, it has become essential self-care. 

Social media and pop culture often portray “self-care” as self-indulgence – you’ve worked hard, you deserve a day off, or a fancy meal, or a facial. Better definitions of self-care frame it as self-preservation for the sake of others – you have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can put on someone else’s. 

Self-care has to be more than that. Rather than patching ourselves up from the battle, or scrambling to defend ourselves when an attack comes, self-care needs to be proactive and forward-thinking. The Bible teaches us to strengthen hands for the task (Nehemiah 2:18), to prepare our minds for action (1 Peter 1:13), to put on our armor and take our stand, well-prepared before the struggle (Ephesians 6:10-11). 

And often, this means the opposite of self-indulgence. It’s actually sacrificing my current comfort for the sake of becoming stronger, calmer, more Christ-like. I would rather sit on the couch with a cup of coffee and a pastry, but that version of “self-care” actually hurts me in the long term. When I choose to run, I rest in God’s presence and feed on His Word. I take captive the negative, sinful, and self-defeating thoughts that have been scrolling through my mind, and replace them with His truth. I strengthen my body for the marathon of parenting and ministry ahead of me.  

I can only do this through the power of the Holy Spirit. True self-care is a combination of things we do and grace we receive. We read in Nehemiah 2:18 that the people “strengthened their hands for the good work”, and then in 6:9, Nehemiah prays in the face of opposition, “O God, strengthen my hands.” Why not pray this week, “Lord, how can I participate with You in taking better care of my body, mind, and spirit so that I can be strengthened for the work You are calling me to?”