What a gut punch verse! I struggle with the word hate being in the same sentence as father, mother, wife, children, etc. I can handle hating my life with its faults and missteps but to hate family seems so… un-Christlike. But there it is in the Bible; telling us to hate those we tend to love. But it’s not about hating people. The message Jesus is trying to convey is that He is to be priority #1 over all others including self.
I had an opportunity to test out this verse in 2019 when the Lord revealed I needed to move out of my parents’ house. They were in their early 70’s and my daughter and I had been living with them for five years. As they aged, my presence brought them a sense of comfort. The last thing they expected to hear was that I was moving out.
My mother was not keen on this plan to move out while my dad was more understanding. Truthfully, I wasn’t keen on it either. This was the time to be there for my parents; not time to leave. I wrestled with God’s plan. “Abandoning my parents” in these years of their lives would test the close bond I had with them. But I knew I had to follow God’s will; not my parents’ will, nor mine. I had to “hate my mother, father and self” in this matter and put God’s will first if I was to be His obedient child.
I left my parents’ house in January 2020; a rough decision followed by a few rough months. I had to trust the Lord in this season to protect and care for my parents now that I was not there daily. I had to also trust the Lord to work on their hearts to understand that I was hurting but had to put the Lord’s will first. It also became their test to rely on the Lord to be their source and protector.
The Lord was faithful. A few months later I received a call from my mother expressing her understanding of my need to be obedient to the Lord. We had passed our tests to trust and obey the Lord! Today, as we minister in places and spaces God has for us in this season, may this encourage us to obey His leading and trust that He will care for loved ones left behind.
When was a time when God asked something of you that not only cost you but also your loved ones? What was your initial reaction to the ask? What were your loved ones’ reactions? How did you finally respond to God’s ask?
I recall God’s ask of me to step away from my full-time teaching career after only 5 years. I loved my job, and the pay was great! I had been given a leadership position only three years into teaching which was unheard of at that time. My career was on an upward trajectory at an accelerated pace. Then God brought an opportunity to be a full-time youth worker my way. I had been volunteering for a year so far and I enjoyed it but never saw myself giving up my paid job to do it full time. My parents were not so keen on this consideration either. Would I be able to take care of myself financially or would I have to lean on them since the ministry salary was far below what I was currently making. Also, it just did not make any sense to leave behind a good paying job to be a full-time ministry worker. In the end, I left the teaching world to join the youth ministry. I ended up being in that role for 8 years full time and 4 years part time. Looking back today, it was one of the best decisions I ever made! Where I am today spiritually is because of saying YES to putting God’s will first and all others including myself after him. He faithfully took care of my needs and honestly can see how my loved ones back then and my current loved ones today have benefited from making God priority #1 so many years ago.