Driving in my host country can be quite an adventure. Most people drive motorcycles or scooters and squeeze in between the bigger vehicles in a mess of traffic, usually leaving mere centimeters of space. The roads remind me of a tangled ball of string, it’s hard to distinguish which lane leads where. 

I remember when I had first moved here, I was experiencing a whole slew of emotions; I didn’t know how to navigate what I was feeling and I didn’t know what I wanted. I felt like I couldn’t trust my heart and therefore I couldn’t trust myself. 

One day I traveled by motorcycle across the city with the father of my host family. I hadn’t started driving yet myself and I was able to just sit on the back of the bike without thinking about how he was navigating the roads. I didn’t look to see how close we were coming to other vehicles or pedestrians as we weaved through the heart of the city. I didn’t cringe around the curves as we moved into the hilly outskirts, wondering if a truck might meet us around the next bend. I just sat. I watched the people, the scenery, the bustling of the markets. I enjoyed the journey.

As we returned through the city I heard the Lord whisper, “Do you trust me to navigate your heart in the same way you trust him to navigate the roads?” I realized that He knew much better than I how to untangle the knot of emotions I had inside of my heart. Romans 8:27 says He is the searcher of our hearts and Psalm 139 says that he knows our thoughts. We just have to trust Him enough to allow Him to take the wheel and drive us through the seasons we don’t know how to navigate ourselves. When we do, we are able to rest on the journey, even in the chaos, even in the unknowns, and even in the mess.