“So how did you end up in South Africa?” My accent gave me away again, so we’re having the familiar conversation.

“Well, we came in 2008 for a year of graduate study. Then we decided to stay for another year and volunteer with a prison ministry. Then we decided to stay for two more. Then we just stayed!” 

My inquisitor chuckles, and I smile back, but I remember too well the pain of that “one more year” season. How many mistakes did I make, how much unnecessary struggle did I take on, because I assumed my choices were temporary? How many unhealthy situations or demands did I accept because I knew I could white-knuckle it for a year, that I would never have dreamed of accepting for five, ten, now fourteen years?

As followers of a suffering Savior, we have answered the call to persevere through trial. Too often, though, my ego and stubbornness lead me to add my own trials to the mix. I bring my own ideas of what I “should” endure, and others around us (or sometimes our supporters or supervisors overseas) can add their own expectations to the mix. Pretty soon we might find ourselves living in communal housing when we desperately need to unwind in our own space at the end of the day, taking on tasks no one else seems willing or able to do despite finding them soul-draining ourselves, delaying medical care because it’s too expensive or inconvenient, or giving up our exercise routine to watch the kids so our husband can have more time for his studies in the evening. It’s only temporary, right?

The problem with this approach is that it seems noble – but it’s actually undermining my purpose by sapping my strength daily. Instead of “fixing my eyes of Jesus” (Heb. 12:2), my vision is laser-focused on my own sacrifice, and on a supposed end date. And like the fool in the proverb, I pay the penalty – discouragement, bitterness, poor health, strained relationships, flagging faith. 

The God who has called us to these often challenging places has also given us the wisdom to see danger and take refuge. If we want to stay the course, we absolutely MUST avoid unnecessary challenges, preserving our strength for the trials we cannot escape. Will you lean into the wisdom of your Heavenly Father, and ask Him today to help you see the danger you are currently embracing and flee into the refuge of His arms?