Friends may find this title puzzling. I like having people over. Not everyone likes people looking around their home much less someone creating high flames in their kitchen. One shy teammate once shook her head at me. “It’s all like water off a duck’s back for you.” Students, colleagues and neighbors have all taken over my kitchen and any available counter space. Sometimes foreign friends dropped by to enjoy the happy and delicious chaos.

So why the verse about grumbling?

With a little reflection I have realized that I do have boundaries and expectations on my hospitality. When they’re not met, I grumble.

1. Arrival time I can roll with but lingering departures not so much. After a wonderful evening of games with a freshman class I often rudely hustled them to the door. Most had never known anyone who lived alone and couldn’t fathom my enjoyment of solitude.




2. I’m not as generous as it may appear. Two visiting believers once came for a conference. I had just received a big bottle of real maple syrup and my teammate and I looked forward to sharing it with friends. (People who recognized our desire for it to last!) I wish we had recorded the look on our faces as we watched our 2 visitors slather their pancakes when invited for breakfast. Funny now, ugly then.




3. I’m flexible with the guest list – ‘til I’m not. I have been remarkably blessed with countless groups of polite and pleasant guests. Why do I call the others crashers? Couldn’t they be the angels of Hebrews 13?




4. I’m pretty double-minded when it comes to reciprocation. As a teacher in Asia, I knew such an invitation wasn’t a given. It did happen but sometimes my local friends didn’t have their own place or weren’t comfortable with a foreign visitor. I did find myself hosted in dormitories, one-room apartments, spacious condos and sidewalk cafes but I never thought twice if it never happened. Now back in the US I’m not so understanding.

So old friend, I’m not the duck you thought. I need Peter’s words.