Do you ever feel like maintaining legal status in a foreign country is a full-time job? So many forms, so many requirements, so much waiting. And when you finally present your papers to a government official for a renewal or extension, it sometimes seems like that person looks for reasons to deny your request or at least to tell you that you’re missing something and need to come back another day. 

Not the most gracious of atmospheres.

During the weeks of being confined to my house during COVID-19, the Lord brought to my attention in new ways how ungracious I can be with my words to my kids. The Holy Spirit convicted me that often my words to them were not grace-filled but rather laced with frustration, indifference, or annoyance. Being at home together all the time offered many opportunities to choose the abrupt response over the compassionate one, and I saw how often I chose the former. 

Why?

Somewhere in my heart, I haven’t fully comprehended the amazing grace God has extended to me. When we begin to grasp the depth of our need and the unmerited lavishness of God’s grace to us in salvation, our interactions with other people will have the pleasing aroma of grace. And not just when it’s easy. Speaking with compassion and grace to our kids comes easily when they are happily playing together, but when they’re arguing about something for the twentieth time in three days, grace-filled words don’t exactly come tumbling out. We verbally push them away, as if they’ve presented an insufficient stack of government papers to us, and communicate a message that says, “I’ll speak kindly to you only when you’re likeable and measure up.” 

What a blessing that God doesn’t have this criteria for extending His love to us. His grace would not be grace if it only came when we were likeable. God’s amazing grace came undeserved the moment of our salvation, and it continues to come undeserved to us every day when we reach out to Him for forgiveness for our sins–such as turning to our children and speaking to them without grace. As we increasingly grasp His grace toward us, we will resemble Him in our interactions with others: compassionate, gracious, and slow to anger.