It’s been a few months since I’ve seen Leanne. She lives on the other side of the city, and we’re both working moms with young kids so time to connect is scarce. We finally manage to schedule a phone call after the kids are in bed. 

“How are you?” she asks. 

The usual responses come to mind. “Fine.” “Busy.” “Hanging in there, how about you?”

When I go to the doctor, I tell her what’s wrong, and we come up with a plan to test, diagnose, and treat. Right now, I need that kind of care for my spirit, and if I stick to the safe answers, I’m not going to get it.

I think of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10. I have a close friend, someone who is willing to walk with me through the hard times. But in order for her to help me out of the pit, I have to let her see that I have fallen. If I pretend everything’s okay, I am actually alone.

So this time I respond differently. How am I? “Lonely. Frustrated. Insecure. Overwhelmed. Anxious.”

Now my friend can minister God’s word to me. She can speak His promises, pray for breakthrough, stir my spirit awake. Through her, the Holy Spirit can comfort me and convict me, encourage me and challenge me. Not only that, but Galatians 6:2 instructs us to “carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” For her to be obedient, I need to be vulnerable.

Even better, I have created a space for her to share her needs as well. I can comfort her with the comfort I have received (2 Corinthians 1:4). Her husband’s business is struggling, so he is working long hours. They are both exhausted. We pray and commit to lifting each other up throughout the coming weeks.

We were both in the pit, but with vulnerability and a lot of grace we have lifted each other out.