As I read through my notes for some teachings I thought were almost ready, my heart started to beat a bit faster while I glanced through the last one. Wow, I thought to myself. I’m not sure that this is deep enough. I’m going to have to do this one all over! My neck tightened as I wrote down one more thing on my to-do list.

The planning for this upcoming period of intense ministry hadn’t gone like I’d expected. I’d had intermittent severe pain for five weeks and then my daughter was hit with an unexpected brief, but critical illness. My scheduled time for ministry prep was gone. I was far from content as I put my list aside and attempted to get the rest of life (laundry, meal prep, etc.) done for the day.

The next morning with my coffee and bible in hand, God started me thinking. Wasn’t He the one who had given me the idea for the teaching that had seemed so lame yesterday, and didn’t a wise friend just ask for prayer regarding her preparation for her future ministry? Specifically, she had wanted God to show her when to stop her rehashing and trust that He would work through her.

I knew none of these thoughts flowed into me by accident.

“Lord,” I asked, “if you want me to rewrite this teaching, I will. Just please Lord, help me to know what you want to say to these young women.” I didn’t read His answer in black and white, but His Spirit sent me right back to the teaching I’d originally prepared. I knew right then that I had to make a choice. Would I trust Him with this answer?

I chose trust, and contentment seemed to nestle up beside me. It seems you can’t have one without the other.