It was a long-standing joke between my husband and me. Whenever we returned stateside, I'd elbow my husband in the side and say, "Wait for it." Sure enough, after a long hug, the first words out of my mother-in-law's mouth were, "Girl, your hair sure has gotten gray." Every. Time. 

Of course, I also noticed (but kindly refrained from commenting) how much our parents had aged. I realized that I pictured them as I last saw them. While we were apart, we'd all changed. 

We shared our concern about our parents' aging with our siblings. It became apparent that we needed to talk with our folks about their wishes and plans for the future, but everyone hesitated to invade their privacy. 

The next time my in-laws visited us on the field, we gently raised our questions. It shocked us to discover that they did not have a will. When we asked about their wishes for their funeral—it quickly became apparent they'd never discussed the subject. We listened with some amusement as Mom expressed the desire to be cremated and have her ashes sprinkled in various locations across Alaska. Dad wanted to be buried in a simple pine box and have friends write memories on it with felt markers. After some verbal back-and-forth, they agreed to talk privately and prepare a plan. 

This uncomfortable yet mildly entertaining discussion was a crucial first step in caring for our parents. We asked their opinions and preferences about when and under what circumstances we might need to leave the field to be with them. This initial conversation allowed us to help make future decisions based on our parents' wishes. 

Many verses in the Bible speak about honoring our parents. I love how Jesus provided for His mother in John 19. From the cross, Jesus looked down at His mother and said, "Woman, here is your son." Then he spoke to John and said, "Behold your mother." He made provision for His mother's future. Jesus' example serves as a guide for us in our journey of caring for our aging parents.