“I don’t want to leave,” I told our director as we looked out on some mountains on the last day of our very first staff conference. It seemed like those few days had made my heart beat again. I didn’t have to try to speak in sounds that yet had no meaning to me. I didn’t have to grab my courage each time I walked outside my sleeping quarters. When people laughed, I knew why, and when others told me about their everyday lives, I knew they understood mine. The loneliness that had stood in front of me in the past months had vanished.

Loneliness can block all of us. Yes, it may be a bit more prevalent when we work out of our native area, but I surmise everyone knows its presence at times in their lives. When relationship was severed in the garden, that sense of isolation, lack of being understood, and feeling forsaken were just a few of the ugly emotions that emerged.

So, how do you deal with loneliness? As “good” global workers, we know the verses. God promises to never leave us or forsake us many times in His word. Like me though, maybe even when you're aware that God is living in you, you’ve begged God to provide a flesh and blood solution to your pain.

Lately I’ve just started telling God the truth. My conversation goes something like this: “I hate this, Lord. I don’t know anyone here, and what’s worse, no one knows me. In fact, it doesn’t seem like anyone even wants to know me. What should I do Lord? Have I isolated myself in some way because of something in my heart you want me to confess, or that you want to heal? Do you want me to act in a different way? What expectations do I have that aren’t from You? Might there be a promise You have for me? I need you, Father. Help me.” As I sit with Him, ask and listen, He settles me. He reminds me of His priority for my life and recently He made it clear that part of this priority means that the type of relationships I sometimes long for might come later, but not now. He wants me to go about His business and trust.

Has the loneliness gone away? Not really, but the contentedness He brings helps me to see around the loneliness and into His love.