Standing in front of the congregation, one face stood out in the crowd. In a room of two hundred prisoners, he looked out of place–no scars or tattoos, no mask of toughness. Unlike most of the men there, he knew the words to the songs I was leading. He closed his eyes and lifted his hands in worship like he had been doing it his whole life.

Whenever I’m leading worship, but especially in prison, I try not to judge by what I see–appearances can be deceiving. But my eyes kept returning to this man, and I could sense God’s love and care for him. I saw his face again a few weeks later, this time in the newspaper. His crime was widely discussed because he had been a youth pastor in a prominent local church. He had harmed the vulnerable, betrayed the trust of his congregation, and damaged the witness of Christ-followers across the city. 

And I had led him in worship. I felt disgusted. How could God love him? How could God stand to be honored by one like him? After eleven years in prison ministry, I thought I had learned to love the unlovable…but in that moment of weakness I hoped I would never see his face in a church service again. 

Then the Holy Spirit reminded me: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). I knew what I had seen–this man was broken. I could see that he was crying out to God. His sin had been laid bare, and he was desperate in his guilt and shame. 

I learned from the newspaper article that, after several months of court proceedings, the man had changed his plea to guilty. It seems God did a work of conviction in his heart, maybe, in part, through the worship services I had the privilege to share with him. I had faith that God could save him, but only before I knew the details.

Now God did another work… convicting my heart of self-righteousness. We were the Pharisee and the tax collector. Now, by God’s grace, I am the tax collector too, crying out, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Thank you for the privilege of worshiping with the unlovable, pointing them to the love You freely offer us all.”