Write about your failure.
I knew exactly which (of many) failures God’s Spirit prompted me to share. I would rather not write about that season of sin and defeat, my outright temper tantrum, a season of shaking my fist at God and withholding love from dear friends. Why share honestly about my selfishness and the pain I caused a brother and sister in Christ? Who would want to read about that? How could my failure bring glory to Him?
Write about your failure. Someone else needs to read it.
And so, here I sit at my computer, recalling my sinful response to another goodbye. Global workers who had felt more like family than colleagues were leaving the field. God had directed them, and leadership had asked them to take a position elsewhere. They were not giving up but were tearfully and painfully moving on, following the King.
Our brief home assignment time had almost ended when we heard the news. In a motel room, I stamped my feet and shouted angrily at God. Deeply hurt, I refused to immediately allow the Comforter to do His healing work in my heart. I am ashamed to admit that my response and behavior made what was a difficult choice and time of transition for them all about me. Instead of imitating God and walking in His love, I kept these dear friends at arm’s length.
The goodbyes of global work are numerous. People come in and out of our lives often, and there is a temptation not to let them get close; not to let love grow. If I don’t get close, I will not have to experience the pain of losing them somewhere down the road.
Goodbyes hurt. We may feel we are losing a piece of ourselves with each one. Instead of pity parties and temper tantrums, may we run to the One who has the power to heal our hearts. May we support others in their transitions, allowing Christ’s love in us to determine our responses.
Have you ever wanted to withhold love or decided that getting close to others was not worth the risk of eventual loss? How have God and His Word worked in your heart in similar situations?
It helps me to realize I cannot love others the way God commands without relying on His strength. I also remind myself that someone else might have difficulty loving me. How would I want them to work through showing His love to me when I am the unlovely, irritable, aloof individual with whom they may be struggling?