The toll of daily language study was steep. Failing multiple times every day, being corrected countless times each hour rocked me. The condescending tone in the teachers and their persistence to point out every error rather than highlight anything correct wore me down. My focus was being turned to my shortcomings. I questioned my worth, my intelligence, and my purpose. I grew to see myself as a failure. Stepping into the classroom in the morning had me feeling more exposed than my nightmares of showing up to university naked. I grew terrified to go to class – to endure another stream of corrections, to feel like I stood all alone, and to put on a cloak of shame.  

When we talk of courage, we often mention people who stayed faithful in the face of lions in the arena, who led armies into battle, or spoke before crowds. Those people are without question courageous. Even today, many courageously face persecution for their faith. While not diminishing their suffering, it is important to celebrate our day-to-day courageous victories. 

In my season of French language school, I found myself reading Psalm 27 one morning. As I read David’s words, I found comfort that I was not alone. David’s declaration of the Lord’s presence and how the Lord is his refuge spoke deeply to my heart. I too could find refuge in the Father. Even if I felt like everyone around me had left me, the Lord would receive me.

While my French classroom held no physical danger, it still terrified me. I could not face the class, the correction, or the accusations unless I rooted myself in the love of the Father, reminding myself of His steadfast presence with me. As I worshipped Him and marveled at His worthiness, I was reminded of the victory that we have over the darkness because of Him. I was able to cut off the lies of the enemy because of the things that God says about His children. 

When I look to the Lord to be my light and my salvation, to be the stronghold of my life – not my ability to know the right word at the right time nor my strength nor my wisdom – then I can stand in confidence.