Not long after my husband and I arrived in South Asia, our team’s work situation changed drastically. The reasons were beyond our control. We ended up operating in capacities none of us anticipated. It was a fruitful season, but painful. Fruit does not always resemble what Western cultures consider ministry success. God bearing fruit through His people does not always feel good or produce exciting stories to share with supporters back home.  

We were misunderstood by nearly everyone around us. Our team prayed and wept together often. We had to make difficult, seemingly impossible decisions. Sometimes we felt unsafe. We did not choose these circumstances, but thankfully learned that in God’s eyes, fruitfulness began with who we were more than the work we were doing. Producing spiritual fruit was something God was doing in us rather than a checklist we could accomplish.

Actually, we barely had any choice in the work we could do at that time. Instead, we had to think about who we wanted to be in our unexpected circumstances. As individuals, we longed for the Holy Spirit’s strength. As a team, we wanted His strength to overflow to helping each other and the people we were serving. After seeing fruit God produced in us from dependence on Him in adversity, our perspectives on life and work in God’s Kingdom shifted drastically. We didn’t want to stop living this way even after our circumstances improved. We craved fruit from abiding in Christ; fruit that would overflow to our work. Of course, it wasn’t a one-time event. We are still constantly learning about abiding. 

However, those desperate times led to questions such as: I’ve spent years of my life asking, “What I should do for God?” Instead, what if I start asking, “Who do I want to be?” 

I know that somehow our being and doing are linked. I’m not suggesting our actions are meaningless. Nor am I suggesting I’ve found a way to have completely pure, unmixed motivations in the choices I make. However, I am suggesting a new way of thinking that centers in Christ and spills over into every part of life. I am suggesting that fruitfulness begins with God in me and me in God.