At 23, I boarded a plane and headed to SE Asia to teach at an international school. It was my first real job. People close to me questioned this decision, but with the support of my parents, I was confident that this was what I was supposed to do. I remember the grief I felt sitting alone in my seat on the airplane, but I do not remember any doubts.   

A few years ago, I sat alone in an airplane seat again, heading back to SE Asia. This time, I had dropped off my 18-year-old son at university. I was wrestling with doubts and fears. I was not as confident or sure about this decision. 

Confidence in our own ability or wisdom is not confidence that is sure and true. In Proverbs 14:26, we see that it is the "fear of the LORD” that brings about “strong confidence.” Of course, "fear" in this verse does not mean to be afraid but rather to “revere, respect” (Strong’s Concordance). And this reverence does not just bring confidence, but “strong confidence.” Confidence that involves "trust, hope" (Strong’s Concordance). 

Confidence can look different in people and even in situations. Take, for instance, David before he killed Goliath (1 Sam. 17). He spoke with confidence to the surrounding soldiers (1 Sam. 17:26). His brothers tried to stop him, but his “strong confidence” took him to talk with King Saul and then right up to the giant to do what needed to be done. David's “strong confidence" was not in himself and what he had done in the past, but it was his "fear of the LORD” (1 Sam. 17:47). 

And then there is Mary’s quiet resolve to do as her Master asked of her, to be the mother to God’s Son, Jesus (Luke 1:26-38). By agreeing, not only was her reputation on the line, but also her life (Lev. 20:10). But her “fear in the LORD” gave her the “strong confidence” to trust that God would be her refuge and strength.  

I am sure you have wrestled with the Lord over decisions that had to be made or paths that you had to travel. I did not want to leave my son behind. I was afraid. I wrestled with God, but it all came down to reverence and trust. Did I trust God enough to take care of my son like He took care of me? Was my confidence in myself and controlling the situations and circumstances, or was it in God? As the flight attendant handed me my meal and I bowed my head, I surrendered and submitted to my LORD and thanked Him for my meal. My heart quieted. My confidence grew as I recounted how the LORD had taken care of us thus far.