I guess you could say God made me a sensitive person. It’s usually easy for me to empathize with how others are feeling, but with that comes an uncanny ability to carry the emotional weight of the world on my shoulders. This aspect of my personality only intensified when we moved overseas and lived in the middle of an overcrowded, bustling city in Asia.
Over the course of nine years, we lived in five different houses, and in each neighborhood, there were extreme needs. Some families were just scraping by with enough to feed their children or pay for their education. One family came to the point of sending their children to live at an orphanage for several years just so they could go to school and have adequate food. There were other friends from church and from town with big needs as well, and it was a struggle for me to come face to face with such needs day after day.
I struggled with many conflicting feelings. Guilt: Why did I have so much when they have so little? Desperation: How can I possibly help everyone? Frustration: Do they expect me to help everyone? Depression: How do I shoulder all these hurts and needs on my own? Anger: Why doesn’t everyone just leave me alone?!
What a mess! But oh, the freedom that comes as I remember that I am not alone. In heaven, there stands for me a great High Priest and a gracious God, who waits for me to pour out my heart before the throne. There I find mercy, not just for me, but for the world. There, the mercy of God overwhelms me and spills over into all my relationships. There I find grace when I need it most. And when do I need it most? When I am weak. When I’ve run dry. And you know what else? He says to come boldly. BOLDLY! That’s grace. Grace enough for this sensitive, thin-skinned girl, and grace enough for all her needy neighbors and friends. And friend, He’s got enough for you, too!!
The writer of Hebrews makes a point with the word “boldly” in chapter 4, verse 16. Why do you think it may be important that we come to God boldly? Do you think it matters at all?