My family and I are rushing out the door this morning, as always. I have a coaching meeting with a teammate right after our kids’ school drop off. My husband will be meeting with a pastor as well. And—oh no—my preschooler just got in the car without his shoes! 

A typical Tuesday.  

I realize later in the day that I forgot to eat breakfast, let alone get time to exercise and spend time preparing my heart in the Lord for the upcoming day.  

I know it feels almost selfish to take time for ourselves. But I do see a trend (especially in women in cross-cultural work or ministry) where we go to an extreme of neglect for our wellbeing in our attempts to live selflessly.  

We may begin to think, doesn’t Scripture say, “take up your cross and deny yourselves” (Matthew 16:24)? Or the renowned Proverbs 31 woman who “gets up while it is still night” and “does not eat the bread of idleness?” While of course these are all true, there is also a large number of women who could be reminded that God cares about meeting our own personal needs while still using us to give ourselves away for the sake of the gospel. We can have both—self-denial and self-care.  

Taking care of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual states, through the ways and wisdom the Lord provides, can cause us to be more effective in every area of our lives. And though most of us know this, we often can’t seem to find the time to prioritize it in our everyday practicalities or even justify it biblically. 

Let’s take a look into the lives of two primary characters in the New Testament. I love when Paul writes to Timothy asking, “When you come, bring the cloak that I left… and my scrolls, especially the parchments” (2 Timothy 4:13). I imagine it’s cold in his Roman prison, and most likely quite boring, so Paul asks for a favor from his friend to care for his needs—like comfort from the warmth of a cloak and the joy of parchment to continue writing. 

We can also look at the life of Jesus in how he rested, left the crowds to be alone with his Father, and took time to eat and sleep. Of course, our Savior and other heroes of our faith most obviously laid down their own wills and comforts, as well. What it ultimately comes down to is checking our heart motivations. Where are we finding our true peace and sustenance? If we seek self-care as a way of escape and fulfillment, we’ve missed the purpose of why we are called to care for ourselves in the first place. 

We must remember, that while self-care is a gift and can help us continue living a fruitful life, it all must be rooted in the leading and guiding of our good Father. He is our hope and where we will find our true rest.