“Did you have a hard time with friendships when you were my age?” My middle school age son wondered if he was the only one to struggle with relationship insecurities. We talked about what a challenging season he was in; maybe no other time in life when there is such a strong desire to be accepted. Third culture kids often carry the added challenge of looking and sounding different than their peers, with their own unique mix of culture and experience.

In an interview with Krista Tippett, Brene Brown makes the distinction, “Fitting in is when you want to be a part of something. Belonging is when others want you.”

She goes on to say, “This idea of true belonging is a type of belonging that never requires us to be inauthentic or change who we are, but a type of belonging that demands…that we be who we are…Our deepest human need is to be seen by others—to really be seen and known by someone else. And if we are so armored up and we walk through the world with an armored front, we can't be seen.”

What a huge challenge to live authentically, not just in middle school, but into adulthood. I might feel a false sense of security that my armor is protecting me, but it can actually prevent me from truly being seen and known, which is my heart's deeper desire.

How life-changing it would be to truly know the kind of belonging that would allow us to let go of working overtime to fit in.

Out of our own center of belongingness, we could then come alongside our children. What would it be like to experience both the freedom and the joy of hearing God’s unique song sung over us as we dance to our own rhythm?

May God give us grace as we follow Him and shepherd our children, helping each of us to find our way and ourselves, as we embrace our true identity – beloved sheep of the Good Shepherd.

Belonging.

To the flock. To the Shepherd.

Knowing, hearing and following His voice.

Becoming more of who He's made us to be.

We are seen and known.

Loved and wanted.

Even with all of our flaws and failures.

Protected not by our armor. But by our Shepherd.

Who holds us close to His heart.

He sings over us,

And calls us His own.

“He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When all the sheep have been gathered he walks on ahead of them; and they follow him because they know his voice...I am the good shepherd; I know My sheep, and My sheep know Me.” (John 15: 3b-4, 14, The Voice)