“Mommy, if you’re going to make us change our bad attitudes, you need to change yours too.”

There’s truly nothing like being rebuked by your own children, especially when it’s right on point.

I had been challenging my kids to think about how they could grow in humility, forgiveness, and love toward one another, considering Colossians 3:12-15. Constant bickering seemed to have become the norm in our homeschool home, and it was really getting under my skin.

As much as I wanted peace, it seemed like chaotic Whack-a-Mole was on repeat. You know the game where you beat the ever-arising pesky moles back down into their holes with a sledgehammer as soon as they pop their heads up. I pictured these moles as Pride and Selfishness, jumping up and shouting, “I need attention!” quickly followed by “I want my way!” Bop. Bop. If only those ugly moles would stay down in their holes, then maybe we could experience some actual peace around here.

Around that time, one of my kids gave me a book called The Story of a Soul: The Autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux. I became deeply impacted by St. Terese’s life and how she described her heart as being so filled with God’s will that everything else would glide gently across the surface.

“Our Lord’s will fills my heart to the brim, and hence, if aught else is added, it cannot penetrate to any depth, but, like oil on the surface of limpid waters, glides easily across. If my heart were not already brimming over, and must needs be filled by the feelings of joy and sadness that alternate so rapidly, then indeed it would be flooded by a wave of bitter pain; but these quick-succeeding changes scarcely ruffle the surface of my soul, and in its depths there reigns a peace that nothing can disturb.”

If only my heart could be like that, not letting little things ruffle me. I’d love for disturbances to gently slide off my soul like rain drops off of a protective raincoat. Wouldn’t you?

The underlying question of whether I get ruffled or not is what I am choosing to fill my heart.

I realized that while my focus and desire had been for my kids to come to peace with each other, the real issue for me was whether my own heart could experience the kind of peace that wasn’t dependent on their behavior.

What ruffles your soul?