“I should be doing more.”
This ever-present, misleading thought whispers scathingly into my ears, even as I aim to lay my life down in sacrifice at His feet. I constantly struggle with the pressure, whether internal, external, or at times both, to do more. After all, I think, we were sent out by our churches, supporters, friends, and families to go and make disciples. To serve the nations. To make much of Jesus to a lost and broken world. So surely that must mean I should always be striving to serve the Lord more, right?
Perhaps.
Yet oftentimes, even these good, biblical motivations fall vastly short of the invitation to which He invites us—service out of reverence for our good Father, for “we love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). If our hearts are not anchored in Him and the fullness of His character, our actions will be purposed for a different glory than the One to whom it belongs.
All too often our motivations behind our actions become so convoluted between holy and deceived that we can hardly tell the difference anymore— is this for my own adoration or His? Is this out of guilt or loving submission? Our self-imposed or man-centered condemnation tells us lies until we run ourselves into the ground, joyless even in the places of service we were called.
The Lord desires our whole hearts. It is there, when we live in the love and freedom of Christ, where true worship and service flow. Our God is not some slave master far off in the heavens cracking His whip toward us any time we fail, fall short, or don’t do “enough.” He is a personal God who invites us into service alongside Him. First and foremost, He wants every part of us to love and enjoy Him.
That is our motivation.
So as we seek to partner with Him in going and making disciples, serving the nations, and making much of Him in the world, may we remember Christ’s perfect heart posture as He bore our own sin’s sentence as a sacrifice of service: “For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2).
For the joy.
Take an inventory of where you are serving and what opportunities you have said yes to. Are there any places where you serve due to wrong or misled motivations? And in the places you know you are supposed to be, is God ushering your heart into a different posture as you serve?
I had been noticing that I was saying yes to a lot of serving and ministry opportunities because I thought that’s just what a good global worker does. They do this, and this, and that too obviously! I had become a slave to what I thought I should be doing rather than asking the Lord where he wanted me to serve, and where he didn’t.
Meanwhile, my kids’ behavior was declining and I was becoming less and less patient in disciplining and discipling them. And I was increasingly anxious trying to do everything, for all of the wrong reasons.
I want to come back to a place of submission to him first, seeking his heart with where he would have me spend my time and energy. And doing so because I love him, not because I fear he (or others) won’t be happy with me.