“You can wait outside the door here.” The X-ray technician nodded toward an empty bench as he wheeled my son into the exam room. As more and more minutes ticked by, my mind drifted to the What ifs… “What if they can’t get his leg in the right position because of his physical limitations?” or “What if he doesn’t understand what they want him to do because of his cognitive limitations?” 

I concluded my anxious pondering reel with: “They should have just let me go back with him so I could help with whatever problem needs to be addressed.” 

I looked up then and my eyes landed on the sign directly across from me: Control Room. 

Well, that’s not where I am, is it? 

As much as I’d like to be in the Control Room, orchestrating everything, no one has ever handed me the keys to that room.

Convicted by my grasping for control and curious as to what other signs might want to speak to me, I looked off to my left and noticed a Subwaiting Room. Hmmm. That seemed really interesting, and to be honest I’m still not sure what that means exactly. But it made me think of a submarine diving deep into the water and waiting.

Was it possible for me to leave my What Ifs on the shore and dive deep like a submarine? As my wait grew longer and longer outside of the Exam Room and outside of the Control Room, maybe I could find peace and rest by sheltering in the Subwaiting Room.

I wonder if it might be like a deep sea treasure hunt that God wants to lead me on. It might even feel like choosing to rest with Jesus on the boat in the middle of the storm. 

What if Subwaiting was His invitation to me in every anxious situation that highlights my lack of control? 

“The glorious Spirit of God rests on you.” 1 Peter 4:14, The Voice 

How God must long for us to experience the glorious resting of His Spirit on our deepest and truest selves.