When Mom started with “I'm okay,” I knew whatever came next would not be good. She went on to say she had fallen and dislocated her shoulder. I sympathized and asked her neighbor, who had taken her to the hospital, to stay with her overnight. But what else could I do? I was an ocean away and in the midst of a ministry project. Two weeks later, my brother told me Mom had fallen again. I felt gut-punched. And I booked a flight. 

God graciously provided a clear enough schedule for me to be with Mom while she convalesced. That wasn’t a solution, but it was sufficient for the time. It was also the beginning of God moving me toward a different kind of ministry, one that allowed me to return to the US long-term to look after Mom. 

While we are commanded to honor our parents, sometimes it’s hard to know what that looks like as an adult living cross-culturally. As youngsters, honor seems a simple matter of obedience and respect. It becomes significantly more complicated when we and they get older. Add the complexities of living and ministering overseas, and honoring our parents can turn into a Gordian knot.  

One of Jesus’ last acts on the cross was to give John responsibility for His mother. (John 19:26-17) He was honoring His mother by making sure she would be cared for.  

Sometimes God calls us to honor our parents by caring from afar, perhaps via regular phone calls, being emotionally attentive to them, or coordinating with siblings to ensure our parents receive the care they need. Sometimes God calls us to sporadic on-site care—with all that involves, things like reworking the budget to include more frequent trips back to the US. And sometimes God calls us to readjust our ministry a little—or a lot—to honor our parents with ongoing on-site care.  

Whatever way the Lord leads us to honor our aging parents, He will give us what we need to do what He asks because He cares for both them and us more than we can imagine.