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The unwanted but familiar feeling of dread crept into my heart as my husband pulled out of the driveway early this morning for another trip over dangerous mountain roads. I prayed for his safety, of course, but as soon as I said “Amen” my mind was crowded with images of the dozens of crosses that he’ll drive past on his way down to the coast. Each cross marks the location where people have been killed in terrible accidents, several of which our family saw shortly after the cars or buses careened over the side of the cliff. I know that I should be able to pray for my husband’s safety and then leave him in God’s hands, but this is a hard one for me.
It’s not like I don’t know how to trust God. I grew up singing “Trust and Obey.” But that kind of trust comes easier for me, because there’s something I can DO in the process: first I trust God for the overall picture of my life, and then I obey by taking steps to follow Him.
Today I’m faced with the kind of trust where I can’t do anything at all, other than pray for safety and leave the rest to God. As I struggle to do that, God speaks to me through the remembered voice of Elisabeth Elliot, on her Gateway to Joy radio program that I listened to often before moving overseas.
“You are loved with an everlasting love... and underneath are the everlasting arms.” Jeremiah 31:3 and Deuteronomy 33:27
As I hear Elisabeth quote these verses, my mind pictures those everlasting arms guiding my husband’s truck down the mountain roads this morning. And, yes, the arms are at the bottom of the cliffs, just in case that’s part of the plan. Those same everlasting arms are holding up the bunk bed where our boys are still asleep, and they encircle me as I stand in the backyard watching the taillights of the truck disappear in the distance.
And in that moment, I come a tiny bit closer to learning how to truly trust.
What is one area in your life or ministry where you are finding it difficult to trust in God completely? What can you do today to let yourself rest in the knowledge that He is your refuge and that His everlasting arms are holding you?
I’ve always found it easy to trust God with the “big issues,” like committing my life to serve Him overseas and then filling out my application, buying the plane ticket, and flying into my future. But trusting Him with the things over which I have no control, like the safety of my family on dangerous roads, is much harder for me. One thing that helps me is to create a realistic picture in my mind of God’s everlasting arms actually supporting each person in my family as we go about our days. Sometimes when I feel especially weary and worried, I close my eyes and imagine the physical feeling of leaning back and resting in those strong arms. Focusing on this literal image of God’s promise to hold us up makes me realize how silly it is for me to think I need to control the things that God already has under control.