Many of us know what it feels like to be exhausted and spent–so weary that even hope has dried up. In those moments, what do we do when God calls upon us to do one more thing?
There was the time one August when our family was making final preparations to go to our church family camp. What had been days of shopping, packing, and cleaning had been complicated by water shortages, high temperatures, and ever-changing plans. My flexibility hit its limit the morning of our departure when we were asked to pick up and entertain the camp speakers for the day.
These were the kind of guests we would typically honor with days of cleaning and food prep. But we had nothing. The fridge was empty, and it was too late–and hot–for me to run out with the kids to buy anything we needed for hosting. Furthermore, when I opened the cupboard to try to create something, I was met with the intoxicating fragrance of bacteria from an exploded can of peas. The clock continued to tick, and I had about 30 minutes before the guests arrived. The lack of food in the kitchen mirrored the lack of love in my heart. More than a miracle of food supply and a clean house, I desperately needed a miracle of a heart transformation.
I quickly threw up a prayer, “Lord, fill my heart with your peace and love. The situation in my home and in my heart are almost comical. Right now, I’m feeling trapped, and I’m fuming! Help me Jesus. Help me trust you and help me love.”
Calmed with a fresh wave of peace, I wiped down the kitchen, threw dishes into the dishwasher, ran the vacuum over the hall and living room, and called for carry-out. When the guests arrived, we were able to welcome them with a clean-enough house, cool water, a warm lunch, and gracious hearts. We humbled ourselves, enjoyed the fellowship, honored our guests in Jesus’ name, and were blessed beyond measure. Moreover, God filled my heart with everything I needed to trust him and honor through the day.
I wonder, how do we pray and how do we find the courage to trust and give again when everything in us has been used up?
In these moments, I have found that God is actually inviting me to lay down my defenses, my agenda, and my pride. He wants me to acknowledge that without him I can do no good thing and to ask him to help me love him and honor him in the given situation. This frequently involves me lowering my expectations from what I thought of as a grandiose plan to something simpler. In those times, I realize that my inflated plans were not actually bringing glory to him but were an attempt to make myself look good. Also, I remember that God has always helped me and has never let me be put to shame.