I just wanted to call my parents. I pulled into an empty parking lot in anticipation of having a good, “private” cry while pouring out my frustrations and heart battles. They would understand; they always do. They would both offer just the right words of wisdom after listening thoughtfully. Mom and dad would help steady my feet and invigorate my failing strength. 

In those few seconds before dialing to make the call, the Lord lifted my gaze to the treetops. Gloomy grey skies filled the backdrop, offering no joy in and of itself. A thought entered my mind. There was something specific I hadn’t thought of up till just then that I could go home and do with my kids, not for their sake, but for mine. But I’d rather just sit here and weep, Lord. Sometimes a girl needs a good cry and encouragement from the two people who know her best. But there are also times she needs to put her big girl pants on and take courage in her Savior’s eternal promises.  

The KJV says it well: “I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13). The goodness of the Lord was in fact present in my life, as torn up as I felt that day in the isolated parking lot. My Savior’s goodness nudged me to arise and do something he had called me as a believer to take part in. Rather than putting it off for another time, I went to go do it, not to bury my hurt and despair, but with His power and grace to adjust my focus on the bigger picture of why He put me here in this world. 

His promises had not failed in my life leading up to my troubled drive. Like the bright and beautiful blue sky cleverly hidden behind those overcast skies, my spiritual eyes had lost sight of the many promises of God within reach that day. My belief in the Lord’s goodness was not forced when I drove away, but instead, revived almost as though I’d completed that comforting phone call.