Formative Community: an enduring concept and also the latest Christian buzzwords. Many churches and organizations seem to be trying to figure out how to “create more community.” The intention is great. However, if the idea becomes an urgency, trying to force more community into a situation where commonalities already exist, it feels stressful to me. I would rather build on good things that already exist within a community, even if there are few. Otherwise, agendas and relationships can feel forced or even stall the natural progression of how healthy groups develop. It feels like creating a recipe from all natural ingredients then suddenly adding artificially enhanced flavors that counteract the original intent.

Reflecting on my experiences as a global worker, I’ve been considering situations where healthy communities developed. In hindsight, it is also easy to identify situations that crushed community before it could grow.

During my years in South Asia, there were natural ways community developed with other expats. Some of it was intentional and some spontaneous, but nothing was forced. We lived in the same place and had things in common. We saw each other in grocery stores. Our children connected through activities like ballet or soccer; it was natural for relationships to reach a certain depth with minimal effort. 

As time progressed, we became more intentional, though things still remained unforced. We found natural opportunities to demonstrate care, such as taking meals when a spouse was traveling or having people over for a game night—no agendas or expectations attached. We celebrated life events together. We listened. We felt free to have different opinions, knowing no one would be punished for asking questions or expressing different views. We apologized and forgave when needed. 

Life together was not perfect, but trust developed over time. Blind adherence was never demanded in order to be a valued member of the group. Occasionally opportunities to minister together happened, but participation was optional as healthy relationships held the greater importance. A sense of belonging grew from a foundation of trust earned over time, honest communication, forgiveness, commitment to treating others with respect, relinquishing attempts at control, and simple time together. For me, whatever else grows out of community, this needs to be the heart of it.