I have heard that throughout years of successful marriage, there can remain unresolved issues. Meaning, husband and wife learn how to navigate decisions where there are strong differences in personality or opinions, but they rear their ugly head, especially under duress.

Hospitality is one of those issues in my house, even after 43+ years together. My husband wants to know every new person who crosses his path, which is a lot, given his people-pastoral radar-magnet. I would rather go deeper with my family and close friends. He is impulsive with events; I am a planner. Can you see the potential conflict? 

While living in Central Asia, with its strong hospitality culture, especially for foreigners, this marital issue came under even more focus. Both of us worked daily in high-activity, people-focused organizations. By the end of the day and on weekends, I was happy to scale down, have alone time or with small groups or selected individuals. Invitations came regularly and we also hosted, but my attitude was not always good, especially last-minute requests from others or my husband.

I wish I could say I conquered my hesitant hospitality heart. That I was mirroring the Proverbs 31 Woman (We know she isn’t a real person, right?). Not regularly, no. Sigh. 

Even today, as I host an international college student (for the next 3 years?!) who is a wonderful young man, I sometimes find myself wishing he were someone else’s houseguest. When someone calls to ask about stopping by or my husband wants to invite new people over for a meal, I often bite my tongue to stop the NO response forming. 

So, I do what wise disciples do…I pray for help, and plan ahead to aid my attitude, employing my natural organizing skills. Most importantly, I make myself focus on being a blessing, knowing with confidence, I will be blessed for my small hospitality sacrifice.