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February 15, 2021

THAT woman

February 15, 2021 by SARAH DEAL SECURITY Comparison
THAT woman
"For jealousy and selfishness are not God's kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic."
James 3:15

There's always THAT woman. The one that learns language faster, looks smashing in the local clothing, and has a seemingly unending supply of local friendships. Unfazed by culture shock, she bonds with her neighbors and shops at the market with not so much as helmet hair to hold her back. Ugh. THAT woman. Why does she have it all together? Why can't I be more like her–or better yet–why can't she stumble a bit so I can look better?


Spoiler alert: THAT woman will likely always be there, in some form or another. God has been faithful in every season of my life to bring along a woman with whom I am tempted to compare myself. My frustration with this fact was challenged directly with scripture one day when I opened my Bible to James 3. The words of verse 15 rang in my head: Jealousy. Selfish Ambition. Unspiritual. Earthly. Demonic. For the first time, God opened my eyes to the fact that my comparison game with THAT woman was more than just ugly and sinful. It was demonic. Part of a spiritual battle in my heart. For my heart.


Since that day, I have come to look at the comparison game in a different light. When I am tempted to compare myself to THAT woman, to feel threatened by her successes or rejoice when she fails because it makes me look better, I need to recognize this as spiritual warfare. Yes, our comparison game is a well-designed and focused attack of the Enemy of our Souls to distract us from Kingdom work. A battle that I must enter with the full Armor of God, choosing to honor Him by trusting the truth of His Word. The truth that I am loved, chosen, accepted, precious, beautiful, and secure in Christ.


Victory in the battle is won not by a willpower to "make myself stop comparing," but in simply choosing to honor God by believing that I am who He says I am. This perspective frees me up to believe the best of THAT woman, who is also precious to God.

Closing Prayer
Father, thank you for loving me unconditionally through your Son. Thank you for the way you created us each uniquely with the ability to reflect your glory in a myriad of ways. Help me to value the women you've placed around me without succumbing to the comparison game. When I am drawn into the spiritual battle of comparison, remind me of your truth. Remind me who I am in you, eternally secure and perfectly loved and accepted for who you made me to be. Help me to fight against the Enemy by choosing to trust you over my feelings and to bask in my identity in you. To you be the glory, Amen.
Resources
Book: Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst This book nails it! Great reminder that we all are fighting battles with the comparison game!
Scripture: James 3:13-18 The rest of this passage gives some great insights into true wisdom. It seems overwhelming to me to live out this "humility that comes from wisdom," but I am so encouraged by going back to the promise of James 1:5: "If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you!"
Question for Reflection

Identify a "THAT woman" in your life in your current season (no need to give her name!). What about her feels most threatening to you? How might the truth of God's Word give you a better perspective about yourself in this area? How might the truth give you a better perspective of THAT woman?

Comments
Sarah Deal
February 15, 2021

A current THAT woman in my life feels threatening because she is good at so many things! I think the biggest threat I feel is that my ministry (mentoring women, teaching, writing) will be overshadowed and eventually become obsolete. God's word reminds me that my labor is not in vain or wasted (1 Corinthians 15:58). My identity is in being His servant, not in pleasing people (Galatians 1:10). God's Word also reminds me that she is not my enemy, but my co-worker! She is also God's servant, and I can rejoice that God is using her gifts to glorify Him and encourage the body. Maybe she is even dealing with her own THAT woman... :)