I recently had the opportunity to share in chapel at our children’s school in West Africa, regarding TCK life. I encouraged the students to look at their TCKness like a balancing scale, seeing both sides of the story. There can be so much good. But there can also be a lot of hard. The TCK experience is not usually just one or the other.
The life of a TCK it can look like this:
I love meeting new people &
Meeting new people means I have to say goodbye to others I already know
I get to live and visit cool places &
I have to move and leave another place that has become home
I have so many cool opportunities here that I never had before &
I am missing out on some really cool things “back there”
I have been able to meet people from all over the world &
I don’t know where I belong or fit in the world
As parents of TCK’s, we get to help our kids embrace the good as the gift that it really is; while also acknowledging the hard for the pain it can cause. We have the privilege and the responsibility of helping our children experience their TCK life in a healthy balance. We can look with them for the good and celebrate it, taking advantage of opportunities now to learn the language, eat the food, see the sights, embrace the culture and love the people. And at the same time, we can show our kids how to grieve the losses they have experienced while hugging them tight through the tears of another goodbye and days of wondering where they belong or fit in.
We can help them embed the balance of Joshua 1:9 into their hearts and minds “Do not fear or be in dread, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”
The fear and hard and pain of TCK life can always come. But let’s not forget the other side of the scale, where God is already there waiting to shoulder it with us.
What are some practical ways that you can help the TCK’s in your life to appreciate that place where God has their family at this time? Are you giving the TCK’s in your life the opportunity to share the hard and painful aspects of their upbringing?
My kids often make fun of me for telling them all the time “you have such a cool life!” But I believe that they do and I tell them often. It doesn’t negate the hard or sad in any way. But we make a point as a family to celebrate the good and fun and amazing. And I work hard to be sure that my family takes advantage of everywhere we go. If there is a site to see, or a historical marker to be noted…then I’m your lady!