“I can’t believe I’m dealing with this again! After all these years of sacrifice, after everything I’ve done to prove myself, she still devalues my work and questions my loyalty? No normal workplace would operate like this. How long do I have to put up with it?” 

I don’t realize it, but my question is simple: how many times must I forgive her? Turns out Jesus answered that exact question in Matthew 18:21-35…and I don’t like the answer any more than Peter probably did. 

One of the most difficult and most helpful lessons I was taught by a ministry mentor was, “Don’t be surprised when sinners sin…which means, don’t be surprised when Christians sin.” Our fellow believers, those we trust the most, will hurt us…and we will hurt them. It’s virtually guaranteed, not despite of but especially in a ministry setting, that we will be misunderstood, short-changed, betrayed, treated unfairly. Being falsely accused is almost a rite of passage. 

I know that every sin I commit is against God, but sometimes I forget what that means. Jesus lived on earth for over 30 years, and every moment someone around him was sinning… AGAINST HIM! He lived forgiveness, breathed forgiveness, in every moment of his existence. To follow Him is to forgive, and to not forgive is to not follow him. It’s a sobering thought -- if we refuse to forgive others, we are handing our own forgiveness back to God. No matter how much I have been hurt, I am in eternal peril if I try to put myself in God’s place by denying others the grace that Jesus freely offers them. 

So how do I forgive my impossible coworker? With a love that is far beyond my own power. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says that love “keeps no record of wrongs.” I have to clear the account in my heart, so that if (or when?) she hurts me again, the blow won’t land on an open wound. But that kind of love, a love that heals me even as it forgives someone else, can only come from God. I lean on the promise of Romans 5:5 – “…God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” With that kind of love, “seventy-times-seven” is something I can bear… and maybe even celebrate.