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There’s power, at times, in remembering.
There’s wisdom to be gained in taking time to reflect on where we’ve been and where we’re headed.
I’m tempted often to forget the pain and grief of so many parts of me that were left behind when God brought us back to the US several years ago from a fulfilling ministry in Asia.
Many days I wonder if I’ll ever be the same. Just writing this makes me feel nervous that I will be misunderstood, that my story is insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
So, I move on. I stay busy. I forge ahead.
But God’s question to Hagar makes me pause. He first called her by name, then He invited her to recount where she’d been and to articulate where she planned on going. Perhaps He wanted to give her space to understand her place in the scheme of things better than ever before. It’s quite possible that servants—especially female ones—weren’t given the luxury of critical thinking that we take for granted today!
The angel of the LORD then gives her instruction along with a promise in the following verses, affirming that God not only heard her cry, but that He valued her as a desperate woman in need of compassion and direction that only He could give.
And what did Hagar learn about herself and about God? “You are the God who sees me.” And “I have now seen the One who sees me.” (v.13)
We, like Hagar, can trust that God is inviting us to pour our story at His feet.
Not because He doesn’t know it already.
Not because it needs explaining.
Not because we need to justify ourselves before Him.
As He invited Hagar, so He invites us: Where have you come from and where are you going?
Tell Him your story, and relish in the compassion He offers. Embrace Him as the God who sees you, and rest in your identity as the one who has seen Him, the One who ever looks after you and knows the rest of the story…
I get that life in ministry is busy, and busy lives and schedules can easily overwhelm us and keep us from taking time to step back and reflect on the big picture. How long has it been since you stopped and took a break to reflect on where you’ve come from and where you are going? How could you integrate such reflection into your schedule this week?
I am just recently coming to the realization that much of my days are filled with helping others process where they have been and where they are going, meanwhile my own heart is filled with tension as I am reluctant to process the deep pain and grief of my own story. I’ve unpacked bits and pieces here and there, but God has been doing a good work slowly, and has recently shown me anew the importance of taking time to answer the all-important questions of “Where have you been?” and “Where are you going?”! This has been a very long time coming for me, indeed!
I have just recently been able to recount certain memories of my time overseas without having an overwhelming sense of sadness and grief. It has also been good to bring my future before the Lord, to really lay it all before Him with no expectations, to trust Him to have a good plan for me even when it feels that the best is behind me.
One way I can keep working this reflection time into my schedule is to minimize distractions, and to keep simplicity and sincerity as my aim. 2 Corinthians 1:12 says: “For our boast is this, the testimony of our conscience, that we behaved in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity, not by earthly wisdom but by the grace of God…” (ESV). This is my desire—that I would walk not to please others or myself, but that I would be honest before the Lord and transparent in both my struggles and in my joys. In my daily life, that distractions would be minimized (for me, this has meant social media, TV limits, etc.) so that I can be single minded in my focus to hear and obey and trust the voice of the One who sees me and cares for me in all my comings and goings!!