This Christmas I arrived at a party with mixed feelings; looking forward to a holiday celebration in the US and apprehensive about being away for so long. Driving up, I recognized some people arriving carrying food. But my earlier anticipation was beginning to turn to anxiety. Who will I talk to? Should I have brought a friend? The front door was open, and a voice was calling “Come on in!” A man I met briefly at church greeted me and pointed to a table full of food. As he chatted, I looked around – not seeing anyone I was expecting. This was going to be a half-hour event.

“Wow, so many new faces,” I blurted out.

“Oh, just go get some food and ask someone a few questions,” he said. “Then just listen. Who doesn’t like to be listened to? It’s always encouraging!”

And off he went to greet some just-arrived guests.

I did it! I asked a friend of a friend about the new job I’d heard she had and learned all about it.

Thirty minutes later we were interrupted and each turned to someone else. Two questions and two conversations later I again parted with a “nice talking to you!” 

Several years ago, I met up with some friends doing member care with a ministry in Asia. The wife confided that their 10-year work abroad might be coming to an end. Hearing aides had not sufficiently helped her listening ability, and it was affecting her conversations with those she wanted to serve.

“We see encouragement as the biggest need. For us that’s happened through listening and I need to be able to hear clearly. Especially children’s little voices. Over and over, we’ve heard, “thanks for listening.”

Can you relate to the uplifting power of being heard? I certainly can.

Maybe, like me, in your desire to encourage you scramble for the right words and some shared experience. But James directs our rush to help in a different direction. “Everyone should be quick to listen and slow to speak…” May I use my ears more and my mouth less.