My prayers are not pretty. I am not an impressive pray-er. How could this be true? Shouldn’t global workers be exceptional at praying in public and in private?

In his book, “Before Amen,” author Max Lucado describes his decades-long struggle to maintain a disciplined prayer life. “I’m a confessed prayer wimp,” he candidly admits. I can relate.

As a global worker, I always found prayer gatherings or praying aloud difficult. During our early years on the field, I wrote out prayers to take with me to church prayer gatherings, which started at 8:30 on Friday evenings. Not a time when my mind was fresh and alert even in my heart language. To say that I struggled to understand what others were praying about is an understatement. And formulating my own prayers seemed all but impossible. Verb tenses, vocabulary, none of it came easily. 

Staff devotions at the school where we ministered gave me opportunities to join with others for prayer in my heart language. I remember well a time when it was my week to share during the morning gathering. I had chosen to talk about prayer. As I prepared, God pricked my conscience. Was my prayer life what it should be? I talked about prayer. I sang worship songs and hymns about prayer. For decades I had listened to sermons about prayer. Dutifully, I collected requests for my prayer list, and others saw me as a prayer warrior. But was I getting it right? 

I appreciate this quote from Thomas Watson’s Choice Quotes on Prayer. “That prayer is most likely to pierce Heaven, which first pierces one’s own heart. Prayer without fervency is no prayer. Lifeless prayer is no more prayer than the picture of a man, is a man.” 

Even today, I must regularly ask myself if I am consistently doing the difficult and intense work of praying effectively. Am I more interested in knowing details about what others are going through than in taking their needs before His throne? Do I follow through when I promise to pray? Am I faithfully praising God and regularly thanking Him for His gifts?