Please don't refresh this page.
We are submitting all your information.


This takes few seconds.
It will redirect after submission.
Devotional

Packing

by PAULA ROBERTS RELIANCE Trust
Packing
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10

Why bother putting it away? Lately my suitcase lies open in my room. Wedging it back into the closet just to un-wedge it days later seems pointless. Besides, throwing stuff in it as I think of it makes me feel that, somehow, this time I’ll be prepared. 


In a few days, the contents of that bag will be all I’ll have to rely on in a land of heat and sand. I’m sure you know the feeling. How many times have you read in global correspondence, “…and pray all our luggage arrives…”


I treat my spiritual life the same way. I try hard to “pack” … to look to Him, talk to Him, and follow Him. Some days I even memorize scripture and pray for those on my list. These are solid disciplines, and arguably, they are commanded. They feel essential, like underwear and a toothbrush. The shock comes, though, when God graciously reminds me that what I have packed simply isn’t enough. 


He did this recently when cold, hard fear revealed my lack. Just like Peter when he stepped out of the boat and the “boisterous waves” caught his eye, my splashing revealed two things: fear had viciously diverted my attention, and I had a trust issue that over 35 years of spiritual disciplines (catch the pride here?) hadn’t even begun to touch. 


What to do when sleepless nights, Google searches, and constant “what if’s” don’t help? My help came when I faced the humbling reality that what I had in my “spiritual suitcase” left me bare. It wasn’t enough. My knowledge of prayer, bank of memory verses, and theology might be neatly packed, but somehow God’s presence wasn’t. 


Gradually I poured out my fears, and gradually He poured out His sovereignty, power, and love. Even as fear anchored my feet, He grabbed my hand and pulled. He was with me. Each day He seemed to give me the next step. Choices became clear. The verses I’d memorized? They came back–not as some card to whip through, but as promises to walk on and comforters for my freezing cold soul. Somehow, as I admitted to Him the depth of my fear, the depth of His presence grew.  


Currently, my suitcase still lies open, but prayerfully right beside it, so does my heart.


Closing Prayer
Ah, Sovereign Lord. Thank you for being merciful and reliable. Thank you for loving us enough to allow our fear to reveal our hearts. Thank you for always being our answer. Amen.
Question for Reflection

What happened the last time God allowed you to see you weren’t depending on Him? What helped you get your eyes back on Him?

Comments
Paula Roberts
December 02, 2020

Recently, God clearly showed me what I was really relying on through a pain in my side that would not go away. I now see how much pride I had about being able to handle all of my medical issues by natural means. The thought of finding a doctor in a new area and submitting to the medical system terrified me. I was actually pretty shocked at my lack of faith and how easily anxiety seemed to grab hold. Admitting this lack of faith and fixing my eyes on Him seemed to be the start of more sleep and moving forward.