“Congratulations, we’re offering you the position. Welcome to our team.” As I hung up the phone, you would think I would be thrilled, but instead, torment filled my heart. I had reached the culmination of a six-month battle with the Lord, and I couldn’t put off my decision any longer.

While at university, I applied for an internship with the US government. It would be a one-year program and relatively well-paid in the eyes of a poor student like me. But there was one inconvenient problem: all sorts of red flags were popping up in my mind. 

I tried to brush them aside, convincing myself that they couldn’t possibly come from God. Because the application process lasted for many months, I had plenty of time to evaluate whether or not the gnawing doubts that plagued me had a divine origin.

It was a miserable half a year. Fighting God’s will was not worth the energy. Every time I prayed, all the red flags started waving furiously, as if on cue. Ultimately, that is what persuaded me. It couldn’t be a coincidence that all my prayers led to a giant megaphone shouting “no” at me, could it? I finally listened and rejected the offer.

As I look back at this decision, it’s clear that I wouldn’t be on the field today had I accepted the internship. My obedience set into motion the series of events that led me to Poland. I won’t speculate on what would have happened had I gone a different route – God can redeem our mistakes – but my life would have been different.

In Ecclesiastes, King Solomon reflects on his life and the blunders he made. He closes with a summary of the central truth he’s learned. “Fear God and keep His commandments,” he writes, adding that it’s our duty because someday we’ll all stand before Him to give an account.

But obedience has another reason: God knows what’s best for us. We can only benefit when we obey. Yes, it might be painful at times. I badly wanted to do that internship, but I’m so grateful I didn’t.