“I don’t get it,” I said to my husband of two weeks as we drove away from the first family reunion I’d ever experienced. His extended family was huge and totally opposite of mine. I had only one aunt and uncle and when we added another two chairs to the table it never warranted the title “reunion”.

My attitude continued to drip through my mouth, “we have nothing in common with these people except somewhere along the line you share the same blood.” My words reflected how strained it felt to connect with these new relatives. Small talk worked the first evening, but “so how are you related to …?” got things going for only a few minutes.

Entering a church service that we haven’t attended for years or that is new to us can, on occasion, bring back this now distant memory. Small talk flows as slowly as molasses, even though I assume we are related to most of these people by Christ’s blood. What’s the deal?

Of course, there can be lots of reasons for this disconnect, but part of the problem might be me. As I look to Ephesians, a book that emphasizes the family of God, I see something I need to remember.

Jesus Himself is my peace. His peace stands in me even when I’m all “alone” surrounded by others in an unfamiliar church. This same peace can also enable me to be “completely humble and gentle,” “patient, bearing with one another in love.”

For me, this peace plays out in my attitude after I examine myself. Am I willing to go into this setting, content that God is with me as my peace? Can I remain curious about the others around me and gently, patiently enter into the way this Body shows God’s love? Can I refuse to become offended if they don’t seem to notice me in the ways I think they should? Can I wait in this peace and realize that even though these believers are blood relatives, getting to know them may actually take time?

I admit, unfamiliar church foyers and family reunions aren’t my favorite way to spend my days. Still, if His peace is in place in me, I find that showing up and patiently waiting on God to help relationships form is certainly a strategy God designed.