The word compare often brings up more negative feelings than positive in our lives abroad. Who really wants to have their language skill, appearance, cultural knowledge, athletic ability, or parenting style lined up against others? Even when it’s labeled observation, right? According to one of my China neighbors, foreigners were seen as a combination of Martian, movie star, and over-sized child.
In the last year I have heard the phrase ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ used in workshops, teacher training and sermons. I don’t disagree. Holding anything about me and my life up in light of another human or culture can be a slippery slope to discontent or pride.
But what if I took a moment and compared my life before and after living and working abroad?
Before I moved to Asia I had never…
Lived under martial law.
Attended a worship service entirely in a language I was learning.
Gotten up at 5 a.m. to attend a funeral.
Regularly lost water and electricity.
Counted as close friends many people of very different ages.
Waited patiently in lines that had no visible beginning.
Seen years of political turmoil through neighbors’ stories.
Had a flip flop washed off my foot as I crossed a flooded street.
Been admonished to keep Bibles off the floor out of reverence.
Seen the power of speaking even a few words in another person’s heart language.
Discovered variety wasn’t a given in one’s daily meals.
Been thanked by a local pastor for coming to local universities.
Realized how proximity and need direct friendships.
Educational? Convicting? Great story-telling material? Of course. But I hope and pray these ‘befores and afters’ will always be more than that. I pray God has given me wisdom. The wisdom to appreciate differences; in ages of friends, food, and worship styles. The wisdom to listen when others speak of life events I can only imagine. The wisdom to see that God can use anyone to make himself known. The wisdom to see how other cultures share the Gospel. “Wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing can compare with her.”
Can you compare yourself in a few ways to when you first came to your country of service and today? Some may be humorous. Some may be sobering.
I had no idea language learning would be so hard. I really didn’t think I’d have to work at it as much as I did. Why I had this self-confidence is a mystery! It’s so worth it but involves not just time but energy and guts to get out there and use it. Then language classes with teammates were a comparison jungle! If the students weren’t doing it, the teacher was. As a language teacher I’m always telling my students to compare themselves to themselves. What could they do, say, write last semester and what comes naturally now. Easy to say. Hard to do when you’re the student! Going to a worship service was a blur at first but I grew to love singing as I learned to read the words on the screen.