“I feel like you are giving me an answer to a problem I don’t know I have.”

Gulp. I looked at the young teacher sitting across from my principal’s desk. We had an after-school appointment, so weren’t rushed for time. I had fallen into my default of listening at a fast pace and moving too quickly into problem solving.

“I am sorry. Please continue.” I took a deep breath and stopped talking.

This is the event that prompted me to add ‘Listen…Longer’, another invisible bumper sticker to the side of my file cabinet next to the door of my office. That’s what I called these daily, important reminders I mentally utilized to be a better international school administrator, better leader, better friend, better Jesus-follower. Reminders like, Smile and There’s More Than One Way to Do Things Right.

Whereas quick processing can be a helpful tool, out of balance, it becomes a liability. When interacting with others, family, friends, cross-cultural acquaintances, or coworkers, I frequently feel like I must insert a horse’s bit, a physical guard over my mouth to hold back remarks and advice. Words feel like they are jockeying for position to exit my brain.

My training as a counselor and life coach has increased my awareness of the necessity to listen and ask questions. Not only to avoid looking stupid and rude, but I really desire to be used by God to assist His beloved children. I often struggle to sit quietly and wait on the Lord’s voice to lead or respond to my questions, my issues. When I am awakened in the night, I often wonder if this is the only way God can get my full attention and I make every effort to ponder the thoughts I heard in the next day or two. 

I have much hope that with the power of lessons learned and increased faith in the wisdom of the Lord more than my own opinions, I am becoming a longer listener every year.