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I recognized the pain that was growing. With each smile, each meal, and each ease of laughter, time with my family was escaping. I gasped. The slash of goodbye hung over me, like a knife that was poised to sever my heart.
As my tears mingled with the sweat of my walk, God pulled me near.
“But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.” Psalm 131:2
‘Whose heart are you listening to?’ He seemed to ask.
As I tossed and turned rooting for the milk of His comfort, He gently reminded me that I had forgotten to be still. I needed to rest my head against His chest and just listen to His heart.
Thump-thump. Thump-thump.
I heard it; His love coursing through His Word.
“… In the world you will have tribulation…” John 16:33
Oh yes, I had forgotten; forgotten that He had warned me. I had forgotten that life wasn’t just about the here and now. I had forgotten that the suffering of today was part of the ascents of following Him (Psalm 131 “A Song of Ascents”). I had forgotten that He had said goodbye to His child too.
Yes, this was hard. Thump-thump. He knew and He had warned me; and in my knowing that He knew, I quit fighting.
“I would covet your prayers and advice as I am brand new to such goodbyes,” I read recently on the Parents of Global Workers Facebook page posts. Whether you are the one who is headed to the field or the one left behind, saying goodbye ranks right up there on the “Hard Realities of Following God” list. What have you discovered that helps ease you through the goodbye pain?
Veteran field workers quickly contacted us when they heard we would be putting our eldest on a plane for the U.S. just six months after we entered the field. They offered to meet us at IKEA for breakfast right after his plane took off. Our ache for him was so raw, but having someone who related to this pain and a solid plan for after the goodbye started the healing process. From that point on, the breakfast routine became a habit for each time (and there were many) we loaded a loved one onto a plane.