"I feel such an incredible sense of purposelessness." I read these lines from a friend who is new on the field, and get it. I remembered those first days, weeks, and even months in my adopted country as packed with an intensity of emotion that was far heavier than my suitcases.

The great joy that came with my "mission" brought adoration and praise; but darker thoughts sometimes deepened the cloud that seemed to flit around my heart.

I find myself in a similar spot as transition swirls again. In my mind I know God can be trusted, but I can't see the light nor feel the gladness that is promised in His word. Scriptures like Psalm 97:11, "Light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright of heart," seem to erode the faith on which I'm trying to stand.

Ignoring the whispers of doubt, I dig deeper into the verse. The term "light" which God uses in Psalm 97:11 is the same word He first used in Genesis 1:3. That light He brought forth was part of His creation's frame. He declared it good. Somehow now, in this same creative way, He's distributing His light in me. This word "sown," used for the first time in Genesis 1:11, relates to the herb that, by God's design, will yield seed­–its harvest.

I may not feel it, and I may not have eyes to see it, but the Creator of the universe is working. Just like the transplanted perennial that in its first year sleeps, in its second year creeps, and in its third year leaps, God is forcing my roots deeper into Him. He is transforming. I remember His ways, and my foundation strengthens as the clouds back off to make way for contentment. I can truly say with the Psalmist in 97:12  "Rejoice in the Lord, you righteous, and give thanks at the remembrance of His Holy name."