Well, here I am. 

I obeyed God’s voice to “go” and it has landed me right here.  

The scuttle, scurry, and celebrity of leaving my old life is over, and my new life stares at me while it waits to be unpacked: the boxes; the food prep (can I walk to get groceries?); the paperwork that never lets up.

Each day I tackle the details of life and I get into a flow. Something deeper inside me feels off, however. How I miss relationships and the patterns of set purpose. If only I could’ve transported them in a box. 

Transition. It’s hard, and I don’t like it. 

So I ask, how do I live in God’s perspective when I can’t quite visualize this new work which HE prepared in advance for me to do? (Ephesians 2:8-10) 

As I face change (again), I find that understanding this time for what it is helps: I am waiting. Waiting for Him to bring me not only my new “job description”, but also to bring me into new community. It’s also a time of testing, and in some ways, war. Will I fight my doubts with His promises, or drop my spiritual sword and battle with fleshly fists? 

God gives so much wisdom for just these times. Lately I’ve focused on Jeremiah 17:5-10 (NAS version): 

This is what the Lord says: 
“Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind 
And makes flesh his strength, 
And whose heart turns away from the Lord. 

For he will be like a bush in the desert, 
And will not see when prosperity comes, 
But will live in stony wastes in the wilderness, 
A land of salt that is not inhabited. 

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, 
And whose trust is the Lord. 

For he will be like a tree planted by the water 
That extends its roots by a stream, 
And does not fear when the heat comes; 
But its leaves will be green, 
And it will not be anxious in a year of drought, 
Nor cease to yield fruit. 

‘The heart is more deceitful than all else 
And is desperately sick; 
Who can understand it?’”  

God blesses those who trust beyond the human realm, and unlike the bush in the desert who can’t even see God’s favor, He allows me through His word to recognize His light in my future. It’s His promise! 

He also lets me know that I shouldn’t be surprised, or necessarily think I’m doing something wrong, when life feels empty. Drought and heat come even to those of us that are planted by His riverbank. It’s His promise! 

He even gives me clues as to my own heart as He reveals what He already knows: that my heart is deceitful and desperately sick. Deceived and sick? Yep. When I acknowledge that I do fret and I am anxious about how He’ll give me purpose and relationship in this current place, I realize my hope has shifted away from Him. My mighty teacher wants the idols in my heart destroyed, and He’s more than willing to accomplish this goal as I surrender and rest in Him (2 Thessalonians 2:13). 

His promises. I am thankful they never get left behind.